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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?